she looked like the bat from fern gully.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
