Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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