To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
