Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I look better un-naked...
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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