I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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