I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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