He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
