we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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