let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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