Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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