It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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