I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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