You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
