If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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