So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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