Pregnant stripper...not hot.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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