I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize