u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize