He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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