i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
