I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
