Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
