somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
