I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
