You can't motorboat a personality
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
