She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Soap is not a condiment
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
