I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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