So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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