someone get that fucking seahorse.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
