these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
