I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
the liver wants what the liver wants
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
