I'm so fucking centered right now
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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