Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
