Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
