Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Randomize
