no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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