That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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