I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Where are you guys?
Drunk
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
