Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Randomize
