So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Randomize
