no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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