I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
