I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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