he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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