I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
My dick has a subreddit
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
