Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize