Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
