help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
