She's JV to your varsity
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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