Texts From Last Night

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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her

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  (504): My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her http://tfl.nu/2ej3
  Replies (35) Good night (522) Bad night (3738) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...

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  (248): I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high... http://tfl.nu/j3oh
  Replies (55) Good night (5662) Bad night (1305) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.

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  (717): I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me. http://tfl.nu/9q78
  Replies (3) Good night (871) Bad night (2408) Order T-Shirt
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.

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  (708): I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious. http://tfl.nu/uku0
  Replies (16) Good night (1518) Bad night (3204) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.

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  (919): Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy. http://tfl.nu/xqei
  Replies (11) Good night (3436) Bad night (572)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..

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  (678): there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub.. http://tfl.nu/f53v
  Replies (4) Good night (1162) Bad night (492) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.

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  (215): If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will. http://tfl.nu/oylu
  Replies (9) Good night (1046) Bad night (334) Order T-Shirt
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.

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  (612): I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms. http://tfl.nu/079r
  Replies (31) Good night (2766) Bad night (435) Order T-Shirt
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises

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  (843): I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises http://tfl.nu/gq7h
  Replies (3) Good night (794) Bad night (376) Order T-Shirt
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night

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  (859): Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night http://tfl.nu/xjt9
  Replies (0) Good night (473) Bad night (307) Order T-Shirt
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.

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  (908): I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game. http://tfl.nu/k79m
  Replies (3) Good night (422) Bad night (297) Order T-Shirt
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile

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  (406): Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile http://tfl.nu/ji9d
  Replies (2) Good night (539) Bad night (349) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.

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  (330): I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs. http://tfl.nu/5zwg
  Replies (8) Good night (445) Bad night (217) Order T-Shirt
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.

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  (336): I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand. http://tfl.nu/v7rz
  Replies (4) Good night (672) Bad night (150) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.

  (1-919): View more from North Carolina

  JESUS

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  (919): you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered. (1-919): JESUS http://tfl.nu/td1m
  Replies (3) Good night (783) Bad night (116)

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