So drunk its hurt
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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