I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
