after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
